Glamorouse

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

All this is doing is indulging my love of The List

A is for Andrew, aka Chef, the apple of my eye. B is for Berry, the surname of Andrew, which has saved my children the ignominy of a surname starting with P so never being at the beginning and never being at the end, just having to wait, wait, wait in the middle. C is for cherish - something I try to do every day but fail at miserably. It's also for crying, something happening a lot in our house at the moment. D is for down time - again, something I should have and never quite manage. E is for everything, the constant source of my frustration with my life - and its not just about making more money or having more or better material possessions, its e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. This concept is something only other competitive, over-achieving, obsessive compulsives understand. F is for failure and fear - the combintation of which are probably the biggest motivators in my life. G is for Good Girl and grief - something I've been all my life that I've only recently come to realise is v.e.r.y. overated and of no value or benefit to myself whatsoever - bringing only the third word into play. H is for happy - despite my penchant for sliding into an abyss of depression far too often, this is my normal and permeating state of mind. There's a reason I have friends who nicknamed me smiley. I is for important - a key word in my daily internal monologue - is that really so important I should be feeling the wrath of God about it? Is that so important or should I let the boys 'win' on that one? Why is that so important to me? J is for jolly - something that fat people are and something that motivates me to never ever ever be 94kgs again. K is for Kim, that's me. L is for love, something my world is filled with. M is for Mum, so much of who I am and the lady who lives upstairs who I can't imagine my world without but drives me insane all at the same time. N is for nice - something I try to be but again, am only good at if a) you're not an idiot, b) not a vacuous superficial creature and c) have a sense of humour, like to eat and drink and d) this is not compulsory but only just - preferably intensely dislike John Howard and the Liberal party as much as I do. O is for open - open to ideas, open house, open heart, open mind - these things tie into I for important for me. P for pretty - something I always wanted to be as a child, was depressed that I wasn't as a teenager, railed against in my 20s and finally understand in my 30s. Q is for quirky - my imagination, my sense of humour, my love of matching pegs on items of clothing. R is for resting - something I should be doing now, but aren't. For respite, something I should seek and ask for but never do - until its way too late and I've cracked. S is for seeking out information, advice, recipes, ideas - and what I do constantly. T is for time and television - the first of which I don't have enough, the second of which I watch way too much - maybe there's more to that relationship than I credit? U is for upwards - the only direction I ever want to be going - depending on your orientation. Forwards also works here. V is for very - very driven, very focused, very able to procrastinate, very able in the kitchen, very able to get angry very quickly, very easy to amuse, very capable of laughing at myself, very is a word I use a lot. W for what? - something I say all the time when really I should be saying "I beg your pardon" or "sorry, I missed that, can you please repeat what you just said". "Huh?" also works here. X for extremely - that's a cop out I know, but hey, I've done pretty well. My world is one of extremes - ups and downs, poverty and wealth (although we're still living in the poorer end of the spectrum...), happy and sad. I try to live a more even keeled life, but have only ever managed to do so with the help of little white happy pills. Y for yes - a word I'd like to use a lot more than I do. Z for zzzs - something I'm going to go and grab now.

1 Comments:

Anonymous layman said...

M is for Michele sent me.

11/08/2005 05:56:00 pm  

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