it's all coming back to me now...

you are never ever ever quite as organised or as beligerent as you are when you have a baby. This has been a slow dawning over the last few days and was pushed across the line by something Bec said to me yesterday. After being the consumate over-achiever that she is and incubating two instead of one, Bec mentioned yesterday just how she and Prof would kick-arse in the parenting/organisational world of homelife if they had another baby, but just one of course. In light of Prof's age (sorry Prof) and Bec's family history of multiple births that to me is such a red flag to the God of Fate it took all of my exhausted strength to not say - go on, do it, trailblaze four kids for me, dare ya. But she's right. It is the ultimate irony that the more kids you have the 'easier' it becomes. Now, I want to clean up something about this 'easier' notion. The sleeplessness is no easier, the aching boobs are no easier - in fact, it is this third time round for me I finally get that sensation called 'let down' that just never ever happened with the other two. I'm now so proficient at it I 'let down' all the time - picking kids up from school and seeing my big boys looking so independent and big, picking Jasper up to go and pick the kids up, even if he's just been getting to know my nipples for the better part of the previous hour, seeing a gooshy ad on television, bad stories on the news etc etc etc. The 'oh OK, so this is your unsettled period and I'm going to have to feed or carry you for the next four hours?' does not get any easier. Infact, some of that stuff is harder because, well there are still people in the house who need to be fed, who need to do homework, who need to spend way less time on www.cartoonnetwork.com or watching Disney Channel, or worse, Nickelodeon or the worst, cartoon network, who need an engaged mother who reads them stories at bedtime etc. Funny, that by the third I can breastfeed while standing up and stiring dinner. Multi-tasking bah! So really, the only thing that is easier is that you don't have the anguish you have with the first and the general chronic sleep-deprived stress you feel with the second as you are generally trying to reason with another young child as well who is all 'what the hell is this thing that screams all the time and has taken my mummy from me.' That and the fact you never ever think "I'll do that later" as later is feed time, unsettled time, getting kids from school time, bedtime, dinner time, meltdown time. I am the queen of instantaneous action. Last night Jasper fed at 12, 2 and 4.30. he was still going at 5.30 (he didn't have his I'm going to cry for the hell of it time last night so I guess he figured the 4.30 feed was as good as any. Oscar then got up at 5.30 (daylight savings my arse) and Felix at about 5.50, so I just fell onto big boy duty by default. But, it did mean they were dressed and fed by 6.30, had a play on the computer and a bit of tele (that was still on from when I'd been feeding) until 7, then did some drawing/games/colouring in/outside play until school time - which Oscar was asking for from about 7.15. The kids were at school on time, no fussing. The dishwasher was emptied, the food scraps taken to the compost, washing hung out and a cake made all by 9.30. Oh yes, I may look like crap, but I am the epitomy of domestic Mrs Beeton eat your heart out domesticity.