Confessions
I've never read one Harry Potter book. Not one. I've read the first paragraph of the first one about four times. The first page about twice.
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I have never read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I've read The Hobbit, but only about two years ago after a friend lent me a beautiful hard back edition that made me want to read it.
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Most days, I feel insanity is so close to the surface it seems I've pulled off the ultimate coup that no-one seems to notice just how close I am to being a complete, certifiable nutbag.
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I smacked Oscar tonight and had that overwhelming sensation of release as I did it. That is the main reason I - as a rule - do not, e.v.e.r., smack. Because the urge to not stop until my body is spent is horrifying, exhilerating, shaming and powerful.
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Today I wanted to shut the world out. To close the shutters on the world and watch as my world descended into a pitch-black darkness of nothing.
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The comprehension that tomorrow heralds another week of 'doing it all over again' is almost too overwhelming for me tonight. I am drawing a little solace that it is a four day week. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross and in this case, for all the wrong reasons - just so I can have a break.
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I haven't been to the gym since returning to work on 20 Feb. My body feels like a big bowl of jelly. On Friday I ate about two days of food by lunchtime. I fear it is the first chunk of the iceberg to fall into the ocean.
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I watched The Wedding Crashes yesterday and really really liked it. I've said it before, but Vince Vaughan (and Robbie Williams) are my kinda men. You know they'd smell, be absolute pigs, but when they're buff. . . sigh.
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posted by KPB at 4/09/2006 08:48:00 pm
10 Comments:
I know *exactly* what you mean about Robbie and Vince. Sigh. Just divine, but they would be horrible to live with.
My confession is that I sometimes make my kids cry so I feel better. It's human nature I guess, but it doesn't make it right.
Hope things go your way this week.
Kim - you clearly need a vacation. Even just an evening off, with ice cream and a good book (my remedy for all ills).
I am right there with you, dear. I was just talking to another friend about how I hate myself when I freak on my kids but at the same time it makes me feel so good sometimes, it scares me.
I'm with you on everything - the feeling of insanity, the smacking rule etc. My son decided he wanted to party at midnight then screamed hysterically for a full hour...after which point I smacked him and had to run away before I lost it. I refused to do anything with anyone I was related to on Saturday and went for a much-needed expensive 90min massage, which I could ill-afford, bought a sundress (it's winter!) and spent time with a girlfriend. Never regretted a second and feel much better, if poorer for it.
I hope you get a bit of a break over Easter.
I loathe Harry Potter.
I have tried to read Lord of the Rings sooo many times. Just can't do it. The Hobbit is wonderful though.
The smacking, oooh, it's so scary isn't it? Some days when #2 is right up close being a real little so and so (which he is very talented at) I have the most powerful urge to ... yeah. Terrifying.
I find slamming a door with ALL MY MIGHT helps.
I tried to read Tolkien in middle school and thought it was insufferable. I tried again in college and fell in LOVE. But, can fully understand why one could find it insufferable nevertheless.
I don't do the Potter thing. Neither do my kids. I read J.R.R. Tolkien in jr. high and high school. I have no desire to read those books again nor to see the movies.
I think we all need a girls vacation. We should plan a world wide women bloggers extravaganza. But we would need enough time to allow for the saving of the funds to travel international.
i slammed the door once - with all my might - and the (safety-glass!) window shattered into a million little shards. and i had to admit to h what had happened. so if you do go about slamming doors? pick solid ones.
After we were robbed the other week I got so angry about it (mainly that they stole something of mine and nothing of anyone elses) that I lashed out at the front-loading washing machine. Because I pressed the wrong button. Because Chef was standing there trying to console me but his x-freakin'-box was still on the shelf. So I just kinda lost it and hit things. Hard. So hard I bruised my thumb. not the soft padded part, but the area in the first joint. I've never done that before. Been a wall/item punching person. Man, at the time, it felt so so good. That stinging sensation. But man, it hurt for days. Yes, apparently I am a grown up. Sometimes.
I have those days when I just want to turn off the alarm and say, Nope, I don't think I want to be a mom today. But I'm not a movie star and I don't have a live-in nanny to take over the necessary duties for the day. Sigh.
I love the design of your site.
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