Glamorouse

Monday, April 03, 2006

Musings on a Monday

wondering why the right side of my head has decided to return to puberty and break out in the worst deep, sore acne I've had for some years. Maybe it's all the drool pooling as I favour sleeping on my right side? ***** How does that explain my permanently goopy left eye? (which I have a script for cream for but you know, actually getting to a chemist would involve having a life that involves having some space. ***** My father and stepmother enjoy getting their kit off. This unsettles me greatly and is something I try not to dwell on. But today, The Sydney Morning Herald ran two stories here and here that made me increasingly concerned I'm either going to find my them in prison or Emergency. ***** Jasper is saying Mumumumum. hehehehehehe - that's right - I WON. ***** He has also discovered the crawling thing can take.him.places. Like, the kitchen with a really really hot oven! The laundry with loads of chemicals (where are those hideously annoying child locks??), dirty washing to suck on (current favourite is boys worn school socks), and the cat bowl to discover! ***** I'd post the pictures I took to show you all his Christopher Columbus phase, but it's late, I'm tired and quite frankly, I can't be bothered. Another day. ***** Felix asked tonight if we were going to The Royal Easter Show. I flatly said no. Not this year. The reason for this is simple. We went last year. And crowds and crowds of skanky hoes, westies, bogans and myriad rip-offs. I LOVE the Easter Show for the livestock, the animals, the cakes and food competitions. These are all the reasons the boys will pretend to love the Show when all they want are showbags full of crap, rip-off rides and hot chips. That's a lie. They do love the animals. But I don't do crowds well at the best of times, so doing crowds of fatty boombahs with ADD kids (generally called Crystal, Taylah, Maddyson, Jessica, Siobahn (pron: sheeevaaawwwwn), Trent, Bo, Kai, or Nathan) who are diagnosed as such purely because every food their idjiot parents have given them since they were born involved copious amounts of sugar, additives, preservatives, washed down with Coke in a baby's bottle, and grow up thinking MacDonald's is a legitimate food source is just not something I can experience on an annual basis. ***** I LOVE that the Lifestyle channel shows two hours of This Old House every Sunday, and am gutted it is now shifting to one episode a week on a Monday night at 8pm. As if I'm ever going to remember that. ***** The weather changed in Sydney over the weekend. The air is drier and crisp, the mornings a LOT cooler. I am sleeping under a doona all night. This makes me VERY happy. I am a winter girl through and through. ***** I need a new coat - because all those people who say Sydney's climate is too mild for needing a coat obviously are NOT catching public transport at 7am. ***** I am also addicted to Trinny and Susannah - and if I do ever manage to drop those 10kgs have an almost identical body shape to Susannah, although my arse is better. But the broad shoulders, fat upper arms, big boobs, thick waist issues - they are me all the way. This means I need a jacket/coat that has deep lapels, really tailored waist (to create the illusion of one) and nothing boxy. ***** This is where you, oh Internet, come into the picture. Because I need help in finding this jacket/coat. Don't worry if it's US - I've found my nirvana in that regard and all can be sourced. But who can help find me a jacket?

9 Comments:

Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

As I think I've mentioned before, in one of those dreadful memes you goaded me into attempting, I have the bad upper body of Susannah AND the bad lower body of Trinny. I live for the day they find someone like me to make over...

4/03/2006 10:41:00 pm  
Anonymous sueeeus said...

Your parents! Oh to have the courage to be naked at all. !!! Your Jasper is how old? My Boo says Mamamama (he's a yank, you know, otherwise it would be mumumumum). He likes to suck on the wash cloth I use to wash his face after meals. He also likes to use that cloth to scrub the floor.

4/04/2006 12:00:00 am  
Blogger Joke said...

Broad shoulders are rather alluring. Bowling-ball deltoids ar something else entirely.

-J.

4/04/2006 12:58:00 am  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

I think I would need to lose thirty pounds before I'd let Trinny and Susannah (or our version, Stacy and Clinton) anywhere near me. because otherwise, they'd advise a burqa and leave it at that.

4/04/2006 01:23:00 am  
Blogger Kim said...

Bowling-ball deltoids - hahahahahahah

Wait - your Trinny and Susannah are called Stacy and Clinton. Man, you guys have got to leave some things well alone. Just enjoy the original. Stacy. Clinton. G'AH!

Jasper will be 5 months on the 19th. Yes, he sucks on the face cloth too. But sucking on his manky brothers socks they've been wearing at school all day? I've gotta draw that line somewhere!

4/04/2006 06:06:00 am  
Blogger Kim said...

whoops - 6 months on the 19th.

4/04/2006 06:07:00 am  
Blogger My float said...

Isn't Jasper only five or six months? What an amazing kid!

No ideas on the jacket, unfortunately. Good luck!

4/04/2006 06:59:00 am  
Blogger Surfing Free said...

Oooh, is What Not to Wear back on the Lifestyle Channel???!?! I love that show ... so informative. I have chucked out all my high-neck t-shirts thanks to their advice for ladies with bosoms.
Try JJillfor a cool coat, and they deliver to Australia. Some of their things are a bit Mumsy but others are fab. Currently loving this coat, not sure why because it could look a little like a dressing gown in real life.

4/04/2006 08:33:00 am  
Blogger Lazy cow said...

I'm with you on the Easter Show (which is our version of the Royal Melbourne show I think?) Animals, great. Myraid kanky hos (or should that be a Skank of hos?) and their offspring, yech.

4/04/2006 10:10:00 pm  

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