Poisonous sisterhood

A few weeks back one of the Sunday paper's mags ran a story about mothers and the choices they make. Granted, we're not reading these mags looking for potential Walkley Award winners or anything particularly enlightening, but it raised a very pointed point for me that has been my own niggling burr ever since. When will we get it that it isn't about the choices we make but that there is the ability to actually make a choice in the first place. Newsflash to those women who think it is negligent to work after you've bred: Most of us don't have a choice. Most of us need two incomes, not to drive a fancy car and wear branded clothes, but to simply eat and maybe give your kids some swimming lessons or other organised sporting and/or cultural outlet. Newsflash to those women working who are bitter/jealous of those women who don't work: Get.over.it. The question and debate should not be about whether we work or stay at home (let alone the fact that as many of us have kids when we're older and a little higher up the corporate food chain so hours tend to become h.o.u.r.s) but if when that decision is made (or forced upon us) the result of it is not detrimental to: - our mental health - our marriage - our children and their sense of wellbeing/security and comfort. Anne Manne's new book Motherhood throws a whole new light on this - and she isn't berating women for going back to work, she is saying we need to really look at our society and what we put importance on to ensure our kids are on a path to strong positive outcomes. why,Why,WHY is that so hard for the populace (and the policy makers) to get its (their) head around? But most importantly, why do women, like your 'friend' Bec, insist on undercutting their FRIENDS when all any of us are trying to do is our best?