Glamorouse

Friday, June 02, 2006

You know

I'd be talking to you all if I wasn't having a fucking nervous breakdown. Because you see, now there's a dog in the house. The one I won't have to do anything for or with. The one Chef is going to do everything for. (That would be the same Chef who got home tonight at 6 and went out to a staff dinner at 7. The staff dinner I didn't go to becaues someone had to look after the fucking dog.) The one I fucking drove to the other side of Sydney to pick up. With a kid asking me every freaking minute if we were going to get "Coco woof woof" - as opposed to fucking "Coco moo moo", which I suspect would be far fucking easier to look after. The one that tries to eat the baby if I put the baby on the floor, all in gorgeous playful puppy licking nibblingness of course. But you know? I'd like to put my kid down every now and then. The one I have to watch every fucking minute incase it pisses on the floor. Which it has done twice. When I wasn't watching it but trying to be a mother or even just.have.a.fucking.life.for.one.minute. The one I've stood out in the fucking rain with encouraging it to piss but instead it does that puppy playful falling over thing and chews on some other half broken crap toy from the sandpit. The one that has been crying, nay fucking screaming in a mournful hollow wailing kind of way from its bed in the laundry. For about three fucking hours. Which means I can't go in there to put Oscar's sheets in the drier or put another load of washing on. And you all know how much comfort my OCD tendencies get from doing washing. The one that has destroyed any last thread of sanity I was hanging on to because the little white happy pills aren't fucking working. And you know what is making it all worse. That it is so fucking cute - and intelligent (the little shit already gets the idea of fetch, sit and down) I can't help but look after the little fucker: In other news. We (for Felix) completed our first craft project this week: I found out this afternoon that Felix is significantly behind in reading. Worringly so. And I wonder if I am capable of producing children without fucking issues??? And look - tomorrow's Saturday. Oh Goody.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I Found Absolutely FREE PlayBoy & PentHouse:
http://www.playmates-girls.com
http://www.oxpe.net
If I find something else I'll inform you.
Best Regards, Yuriy

6/02/2006 11:00:00 pm  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Oh but look, Kim, free Playboy!

Sure to brighten up your day...

Saturday with the dog! If Chef going to be home?

He's cute but he looks like trouble. (the puppy, not Chef.)

Great project! Go Felix!

6/02/2006 11:44:00 pm  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Is Chef HIRING a dog sitter? You know, for the times he's unable to take care of HIS dog?

A neighbor's husband and kids got 2 new terrier pups - 5 mos old each. Yep; SHE has 2 new dogs. She tends them all day long. She is cleaning up the poop. The children are walking the dogs. For maybe 5 minutes. I try hard not to laugh when she says GOSH! This is such alot of work and nobody is doing it but me. Yep.

Thanks for reminding me why my husband and children DON'T have another dog.

And about Felix and his reading? Kids learn to read at all different stages of development. I had a friend who lost months of sleep, agonizing about her son not reading like everyone else. The teachers insuated that she needed to spend hours a day working on him with this. Instead of cooking, cleaning, paying bills and sleeping, I guess. Well, he started reading one week (approaching 7 years of age) and now he's unstoppable. I loaned her our Leapfrog CD's about letter sounds and early reading. I do not know if it helped. What helped was finding something he wanted to read - stories about Lego Knights, I think. Maybe let Felix pick some very early readers.

And look how talented Felix is! Lovely crocodile!

6/03/2006 12:44:00 am  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Just looked at the dog's photo again. He is so cute!

6/03/2006 12:47:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm afraid you are barking up the wrong tree with me (heh heh) -
I hate dogs.

6/03/2006 03:47:00 am  
Blogger Badger said...

Thank GOD we just found out the boy is allergic to dogs (we already knew the girl was). I am so off the hook now.

Er, sucks for YOU, though.

6/03/2006 09:29:00 am  
Blogger Suse said...

Er, that was thirteen fucks/fuckings/fuckers. And one freaking. I think you've set some kind of record.

Can you take the little white pills two at a time?

6/03/2006 11:04:00 am  
Blogger Kim said...

Suse - I doubled my dose last night.

Vickee - the dog is very cute and today has done more wees (and poos) outside than in.

Days - wow, free Playboy - life just gets better hey!

6/03/2006 04:51:00 pm  
Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

I just want to know if the same Anonymous who brought us Playboy joy came back to share that he/she hates dogs? And with bad puns, what's more?!

6/03/2006 10:48:00 pm  
Blogger Kim said...

Me too Bec - but interestingly, the first anonymous actually signed off wiht a name. And a promise to "inform" me if he finds any other "Absolutely FREE" porn.

Promises promises

6/04/2006 09:28:00 am  
Blogger Suse said...

Oh, that Anonymous. S/he sure gets around. Makes promises to us all. Never keeps em. Such a tart.

(Reminds me of those ads for K-Tel records ... yeah I am old ... where the last song was ALWAYS "and many more!")

6/04/2006 08:48:00 pm  
Blogger blackbird said...

Oh NO!
Twas me who ended up anonymous!
Don't know how!!

HATE DOGS!
Don't especially mind Playboy though.

6/04/2006 09:53:00 pm  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Kim, that dog is downright SMOOCHABLE. And I only ever kiss my own dogs. I am a dog person, yes indeed. And, er, did you check with the doc first or just double on your own. I passed out doing that once. But that's me; "One is good? Oh! Two must be better!"

bb - YOU hate dogs?! You have a dog! An old, fat dog, I do believe. Oh dear.

Suse - I remember those K-tel record ads! But I am older than dirt.

6/05/2006 05:52:00 am  
Blogger Surfing Free said...

That is a fine looking crocodile :)

Dogs! I have a love/hate relationship with ours. The good thing is that Miss E is now old enough to actually want to be with him and they can sit for hours together in the sun just talking and being together. It's lovely .. and frees up my time for a bit ;) So it will get better!!

6/05/2006 09:08:00 am  
Anonymous sueeeus said...

Oh.Dear. What a time you've had. The alligator is great, though!

6/05/2006 04:00:00 pm  
Anonymous Tasmiya said...

I'm delurking to say I agree with vickee about Felix and his reading. Hopefully it isn't a big deal and he will simply learn when he is ready.

The pup is adorable! I can't imagine taking care of a puppy as well as the kids...... Which is why I'm a cat person :)

6/06/2006 08:40:00 pm  
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6/16/2009 05:12:00 pm  
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7/08/2009 05:00:00 pm  

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