Friday, October 14, 2005

The Fertility Crisis: Null and Void.

Three years ago this was a meticulous insight. I looked around at my friends and almost everyone was having their third child or agonising about wanting to have a third child (hmm, Kim?) (Next time I voice an insight, will somebody please kick me hard and make me sell it to an ad agency?) And yet, until this year, the newspapers continued to be full of "Shock!", "Horror!", "Not Enough Babies!". (I consoled myself, in those first, terrible months after finding we were having twins, that at least I was spared the trauma so many of my two=child friends were facing in deciding whether or not to have three! ) So the morons advising and deciding in the Federal Government, who clearly have no friends at which to look around, announced a new Baby Bonus - a non-means-tested one which was differnet to the means-tested one I missed out on altogether with my first daughter. This new, wonderful non-means tested bonus was announced not long after I had finally managed to pay my latest, nay, LAST, obstetrician's bill. Very late. It was really announced just in time for me and my TWINS to miss out. Yep, this baby bonus of $3000 per child was designed to encourage more people to have babies, and came into effect not too long after I paid $6000 out of pocket expenses to have my TWINS. I am very, very, very, happy that good and deserving and wonderful people like Kim will get $3000 for this baby, yet to come. I really, really am. Also I am delighted for all the other families, especially those with more than two children. Not so happy for the fact that young Sarah Murdoch will get it for whoever Kalan's next sibling may be, however I can learn to live with that on account of I don't mix with too many millionaires. But. If my TWINS and I, and my older baby too, ever meet that arsehole Johnny Howard in a shopping centre, we may just present him with an invoice for our fecund but financially fragile household. Yep, we're cutting edge here. Overly fertile, underly financed. Thank you, PM, for fucking it all up yet again. So, gentle reader, what's the biggest government handout you've ever missed out on? mtc Bec PS - next time you feel you have too many children, check THIS out.


Anonymous terrilynn said...

Ai yi yi. I don't know if I've ever missed out on a government handout in particular but I would be screaming in your shoes. $3000 per kid is almost enough to make me have another one (well.......not really).

Michele sent me today.

10/14/2005 11:22:00 pm  
Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

It is, is it not?
But then, it's facing up to the three year haul before some sanity comes back and frankly, $3000 might not be enough for that!

10/14/2005 11:29:00 pm  
Blogger Yaeli said...

That totally sucks. I know a lot of people who were put in the same position as you. The other thing about the baby bonus that really gets me is the incentive that it offers to young girls to have babies. $3000 sounds like a lot of money to a 15 year old, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't much at all.

Michele sent me today!

10/14/2005 11:42:00 pm  
Blogger Kim said...

Bec - surely the biggest govt hand out we both miss out on is having husbands that earn an income so large it would mean we could meet up for coffee and pilates rather than over the Internet and still get a fortnightly non-means tested payment? I mean really, how do we expect all those bankers wives to pay for the weekly manicure, pedicure, blowdry and ponytail up-do at Joh Bailey's?

10/15/2005 07:01:00 am  

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