Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Things I've noticed of late: - I really really REALLY hate anxiety attacks. They suck big time. - The irony of drugs that are meant to make you feel better making you feel way shittier for oh A WHOLE FUCKING MONTH is only kinda amusing for oh, a DAY. Tops. - This morning was the first morning in close to a month I woke up a) not shaking b) not completely nauseous - just slightly and c) not totally a bazillion per cent in the grip of an anxiety attack. I'm yet to view this with any level of excitement/thank CHRIST/insert any other expression conveying a sense of of PEACE. - the moon last week was absolutely remarkable - I'm losing weight and LOVING being thinner, feeling my hip bones and jaw bone again. But the being SO FUCKING HUNGRY is kind of boring. This is the ONLY good part of my meds at this point in time - that they make me feel so much like crap I don't really feel like eating. - We now own two dogs. I am both deeply resentful and absolutely fine with this - I see this as situation as perfectly acceptable proof I am probably bipolar. - WHY when you basically feel like topping yourself does everyone tell you how fabulous you're looking - is there some sort of suicidal glow of radiance? - I know my kids know all is not right in Camelot when they say things like, "mummy, what does overwhelmed mean?" and I reply "just watch me for a few minutes and you'll know what it is". anyway, that's all. I have been seriously thinking of not writing here anymore, I seem to have scared Bec off into a far more genteel of space over at The Ladies Lounge and it just doesn't seem I have anything to offer, but here I am, writing inane shit once more. Maybe the meds are finally starting to work...


Blogger Suse said...

I am sooo pleased you are starting to heal my friend. But a month of that, while actually ON the medication? Just doesn't seem fair hmm?

And I was purposely not asking if the second dog had arrived.

LOVE that you're back, love.

6/21/2006 10:29:00 pm  
Blogger daysgoby said...

I was beginning to worry - and I'm glad you're back.

Just be glad they don't think you have that nice shade of heroin glam....

6/22/2006 09:09:00 am  
Blogger Badger said...

Dude! Don't stop writing. Just write through all the bullshit. That's what I do. Of course, most of it is "saved as draft", never to see the light of day, but still. It helps.

6/22/2006 12:42:00 pm  
Anonymous sueeeus said...

Please don't stop writing here! I like to drop by, and if you were to stop... I like reading the things you share! Even if you do keep it in draft, it's still good to write through it, like B. said.

...and... I'm SO glad to hear that you're coming through that wretched period of getting used to the meds, and what a bonus to feel hip bones. I doubt I'll ever discover mine!

6/23/2006 05:13:00 am  
Blogger julia said...

Echoing the please don't stops. I like reading your stuff. Sometimes it's hard to read, but that's ok, that's life.

6/23/2006 08:23:00 am  
Blogger Joke said...

Yeah, don't stop.

I'm asking nicely ovah heah.


6/23/2006 09:28:00 pm  
Blogger Joke said...

Why is it the minute I ask for it not to all stops?

I mean, I'm a husband so I should get used to this sort of thing by now...only I didn't know my powers were capable of spanning half the globe.

I swear, I don't know my own strength!


6/27/2006 03:13:00 am  
Blogger MsCellania said...

Please don't stop!
I'm dying to hear about the DogBerts.
And you, of course.

6/27/2006 02:19:00 pm  
Blogger Sarah Louise said...

What everyone else said, except this:

Getting the diagnosis of bipolar has changed my life. But I'm grateful for it--my weakness gives me another reason to reach out to others.

Writing is great therapy and we'll be here, cheering you on!

7/03/2006 06:49:00 am  
Blogger Suse said...

You two are MIIIIISSSED ... come baaaack ...

(Just what you need eh? More whining).

7/06/2006 02:38:00 pm  

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