Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The post robbery day also known as the Day of Crying...and telling someone to get the fuck out of my house and other stuff...

As I (finally) went to take boys to school this morning and get to work sometime before midday, I discovered the stupid fuckwits, also known as thieves, had taken the backpack I use as Jasper's nappy bag. In the side pocket of which is my house keys. So there we were, couldn't leave as no keys to lock up house or get back in, nor wanting to leave because the fuckers have now been here, seen what else they could nab and have keys to make their entry (and getaway) a lot easier. The locksmith is organised - they can come between 1 and 3. So after not being able to leave, get anyone to take my kids to school, and crying a LOT, I declare today a mental health day for all. If only it had been fun. The locksmith arrives at 3.10. I point out that I had not realised this morning that he would also have to rekey the garage locks as they are the same as the house locks. He huffs and puffs. A lot. Then, as he walks through my house, mutters, yes MUTTERS that I have "really put his afternoon out". I was all "excuse me?" and "you were meant to be here between 1 and 3", being an IDIOT, he didn't realise he was talking to a woman seriously on.the.edge., so persevered. "Well," he said, "it's only ten past three". I think you can all guess what followed. I sort of cracked. In a way I have never EVER cracked before, in public or to a stranger. "I've put your afternoon out? I've been robbed. People have been in my house and taken my possessions. These people have taken a bag with belongings in it for my baby and my housekeys that have photos of my kids on it. And I've put your afternoon out? How dare you try to make me feel guilty for not realising you would have to change two additional locks. I've had to wait for you all day so while your afternoon has been put out I could not go to work today. I could not get my kids to school and that perhaps if you'd arrived closer to one rather than after three your afternoon might not have been quite so put out?" This was all said in that loud authoritarian but teary-edged voice I have perfected. He was pretty scared. He tried saying sorry. I told him to put the lock back in the door and to "get the fuck out of my house." and some more that I don't quite remember but went something like, "PUT.THE.LOCK.BACK.IN.THE.DOOR.AND.GET.OUT.OF.MY.HOUSE." Then there was the phone call to the company. Where I basically did the same thing all over again. The guy was awesome. Asked to speak to the locksmith, to which I said, "he is not touching one more thing in my house, I have asked him to put the lock back in and leave, which he is doing." The guy on the phone didn't even try to apologise but instead simply said, "I will have someone there as soon as possible." Which he did. A guy who looked like he belonged to the Commancheros. He looked pretty darn scared when he knocked on the door. Mum passed the first guy on her arrival home. She tried to make me feel sorry for his stupid sorry arse. That he was stuttering. And visibly upset. All I remember in talking to her was saying fuck a few more times. I can only imagine how this will come back to bite me on the arse. Probably when Felix is suspended for telling his teacher to fuck off or some such.


Blogger Christabel said...

Wow, what a fuckwit.
Scary day; glad the company guy was decent and understanding.
All the best!

3/29/2006 08:56:00 pm  
Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

You Go Girl!

3/29/2006 09:21:00 pm  
Blogger blackbird said...

the way I feel about teachers right now, I pretty much hope Felix does tell one to fuck off...

as for you -
you get 50 points from, the woman who loses it in exactly those kinds of conditions, and in just that way.
fuck that locksmith.

3/29/2006 10:36:00 pm  
Blogger Lazy cow said...

You know, women really NEED to tell people to fuck off more often. I know I do. Hope you feel ever so much better!

3/29/2006 11:06:00 pm  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

You rock! That is exactly what I would've wanted to say, but wouldn'tve. You're my post-break-in heroine!

I'm so sorry about what happened. I know what it feels like to have personal things stolen. It's a feeling of violation you can't quite explain unless it's happened to you.

Hope things get better for you soon!

3/30/2006 05:15:00 am  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

I think you handled it PERFECTLY, the asshole locksmith got what he had coming.

I did something similar once to a guy who was supposed to come refinish my floors, and I have never felt quite so empowered. So I think Lazy Cow is right, women need to say it more often.

And i hope it made you feel a wee bit better, to stand up for yourself so well.

3/30/2006 05:30:00 am  
Blogger Susie Sunshine said...

Telling people off who ENTIRELY deserve it is my specialty, but you don't sound like you needed any help at all.

Well done.

3/30/2006 06:56:00 am  
Blogger Surfing Free said...

Hurray!!! Damn right he should fuck off! What an arse! I swear, people don't seem to understand that they are being PAID to do things. I KNOW that locksmith was not from the Salvos or doing you a personal favour. Is not changing locks the very thing that pays his mortgage and feeds his kids??! I'd show him just how fucked up his afternoon could be ... lippy bloody tradesmen ...
Whew, I think I just dumped my pent up angst on your locksmith. Sorry, I'll step back now and let others have a go.

3/30/2006 08:00:00 am  
Blogger Miss Eagle said...

I showed your post to Herself at The Trad Pad. Re your last comment about your actions coming back to bite you in the arse. She says why should you think this is about you? She would prefer to think it is all about him. He has probably carried on like this to countless people and you are probably the first to pull him up. You have arrived to bite him in the arse. Herself says he will probably be a better locksmith for this - and all attributable to you.

3/31/2006 05:59:00 pm  

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