Glamorouse

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Confessions

I've started the biography of Bill Clinton, Madeleine Albright and Anne Summers nd never finished any of them. The only autobiography I've ever finished was Bob Geldof's in the late 80s. ***** Salman Rushdie may well be writing in riddles. I just.don't.understand.any.of.it. Ever. ***** I subscribe to The Monthly because my GOD Australia needed an intelligent magazine of substance. It's up to Issue 10. I've never finished reading one article. Not one. ***** I really like Kraft Macaroni Cheese. No really. ***** I love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies. In fact, I love Tom Hanks movies - every cheesy one of them... But Michael Caine, I want to hurt Michael Caine. Badly. Add Leonardo Di Caprio to that to. Hurt. ***** If I had the choice of reading a book or watching tele, tele would win out every time. But I love reading books. ***** Today I stood out in the washing, surrounded by sheets, towels and clothes and sobbed. Sobbed a pathetic stupid sob story for the fact my life is reduced to work and cleaning. And being perpetually cranky at everything - from the peg that broke to Mum washing her sheets every second fucking Saturday to people just stacking stuff by the sink or on the bench rather than putting it in the dishwasher or putting it away to always.picking.shit.up.off.the.floor. to all the freakin' wildlife that has decided to live in our house to my hair and wobbly, droopy tummy. ***** I'm so addicted to reading PeaSoup, Badger, Blackbird, Susie Sunshine, Dooce, Amalah and Go Fug Yourself every single day I can't really function without doing so. I'm bereft when they don't each post every day (don't get me started about how I get through weekends) and have blog envy of every single one. ***** I'd like to run my own business called "allconsuming cakes and cookies. the only treats to eat." allconsuming for short. I thought it up all by myself. I would bake cakes, cookies, slices and other treats for cafes and restaurants to sell. I'd also sell them at my market stall where I'd also sell my vintage fabric shoe bags - natty little creations for those of us who love shoes but do not like bunions, so wear our Birks to work and change into our heels at our desk, but need something to carry our heels in and want something nicer than a plastic shopping bag. I know this will never ever happen. Ever. ***** I dream of us living on an acre or five up in the hills behind the northern beaches. This could happen if we ever win Powerball, or Chef's new restaurant is so successful we get lots of equity in it and s.l.o.w.l.y. find some level of financial security in our life. ***** I've never ever seen Titanic with Leonardo di Caprio and it is my goal that I never will. Ever. *****

8 Comments:

Blogger blackbird said...

I think this is my most favorite post of yours.
I think I should do a confession post toot sweet.
I think it's a bad bad idea to think of one's life reduced.
I too have a secret business that I am running privately, in my head - it is very sucessful and will allow us to live in the country, by the sea...but it will never happen.

I have never seen Titanic either.
And I have no intention of doing so.

3/11/2006 11:39:00 pm  
Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Biography and, for that matter, autobiography, is for wankers.

Titanic is so funny I guarantee you will watch it one day: why wouldn't you? LEONARDO DIES!!!
(assuming you can waste nearly three hours of your life, it is almost worth it to see the weird little f*cker sink under the waves)

Notwithstanding the above, if I were with you and blackbird in never having watched Titanic I could still die a happy woman. albeit missing the special mirth that was seeing Kate let Leo DIE DIE DIE...

Vintage fabric shoe bag? I'd buy it in a nanosecond. Sell 'em on the corner of George and King Streets - we're all corporate-halls-of-power walkers in that part of the city.

powerball? You're on your own.

3/12/2006 10:41:00 pm  
Blogger Suse said...

That 'Working Girl' look where women wear suits and huge white runners, while carrying their posh pumps in a plastic bag always depresses me intensely. So the idea of you wearing birkies, while carrying your work shoes in a vintage fabric drawstring shoe bag makes the world a better place, and me a happy woman. I'd buy one in an instant too, and I don't even own a pair of runners. Just bunions.

And I adore Hanks and Ryan. In anything.

Sorry I'm making you bereft, I know I'm absent. But here in spirit, I promise. I'm just tired. And my mother is staying with us. Need I say more? No.

3/13/2006 12:23:00 am  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

I like Kraft mac-n-cheese too. but only the straight kind, not the character shapes.

I love the idea of a confession post. It reminds me kind of of that blog where people emailed their secrets in anonymously, that they made a book out of.

Have not seen The Titanic either. Since I know how it ends.

3/13/2006 09:23:00 am  
Blogger Surfing Free said...

Another no-show at the Titanic fest. I usually love Kate Winslet but when I saw her at the bow of the boat 'flying' I just wanted the soaring music to change and Leo to acquire an evil-eyed twinkle, then shove her into the sea! Of course, she would clutch onto his collar as she fell, pulling him into the icy ocean with her. Not that I gave it much though ....
I know what you mean about feeling reduced to being a cook, cleaner, nagger, dogs-body. I feel completely used up sometimes by all of the stuff I have to do for others. Then I remember how much I used to take my wonderful Mum for granted, and how she never used to complain, and I feel the cyclical justice of it all.

3/13/2006 10:23:00 am  
Blogger Lazy cow said...

Great post.
So with you on the biography/autobiography thing: "I'm so wonderful and this is what I've done and I'm younger, richer, better-looking than you, so stick it up your arse".
You can sell your cakes at my fantasy bookshop.

3/14/2006 11:24:00 pm  
Blogger SueeeuS said...

I like your confessions idea. I think I share your sentiments about your blog reading addiction list too. I have a subscription to Parabola of which I've never read an article either. But I'm sure they'll be fantastic when I get around to it. :)

3/17/2006 03:11:00 pm  
Blogger Christabel said...

I love allconsuming for short, & your sobbing confession nearly made me cry.

So glad I stopped by; thanks bunches.

3/21/2006 12:02:00 am  

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