the eve of the Eve

So much has happened this year in the year-long lead up (or is that countdown) this house lives until next Christmas.

• I have been alive and old enough to witness a Government enter a phase where it is living out the absolute power corrupts absolutely adage, and marvel as its leader tells everyone to trust them, and expects us to fall for that old trick.
• I've seen enough Newspolls to know that maybe the general public is as stupid as the Leader hopes and seem to be doing exactly that. I'm also old enough now to know that when they come to realise they've been had (probably in another decade when the damage runs too deep and is 'too hard' to resolve) it won't be smug 'I told you so' sentiment I feel, but sad resignation that such is the make of the man.
• I've witnessed the same Government, lie about things like children overboard, the treatment and illegal detainment of fellow human beings, instil a sense of fear as motivator in the general populace rather than a sense of hope and promise. I've witnessed the same Government give legitimacy to racism by making statements like 'we will decide who comes to this country and how they get here' to then turn around when mad, angry, young (and drunk) 'Anglos' descend on a young person of lebanese descent (not that it makes any difference, but who in all likelihood was probably born in Australia and has lived here all his life) with the visciousness only pure racial hatred can manifest, as 'payback' for an incident the weekend prior and claim it wasn't racially motivated. I saw one Newspoll which did a little to restore my faith we're not all stupid and willing to be spoonfed by those in power by contradicting this Leader's blind stupidity.
• I've seen this Government do more to fundamentally change the Australian way of life in the shortest space of time than I know I will probably ever witness in my life again. They've created a system that makes independent living a pipedream for my son with special needs (my only hope is that by the time he is of the age that he will be affected, a more humane system will be in place). They've instigated an industrial reform process that while needed, is so pitted against people just trying to make a living and a life it is remarkable. I am actually alive and witness as an elected Government brings in a system that will create a working poor underclass.
• I've witnessed a Government who talks about the economy as if it is a person and is doing things for the economy to the complete detriment of the society that has to live with it.
• This is the same Government who has an education minister giving oxygen to creationists.
• The same Government with a rising infilitration of the conservative religious Right. How many countries have a Leader who will attend the opening of an auditorium of a evangelical church?
• At the same time, I've returned to the workforce as a wage earner, not a self-employed freelancer. I have loved every.single.minute. Even the bad minutes, of which there have been very few.
• We decided to put off having more kids and just have a year of getting back on our feet financially and maybe taking the boys on a holiday that involved air travel and maybe even a passport.
• So we had a baby, and I had another nine months of dragging around my carcass but secretly loving every minute of feeling that new life growing inside of me.
• We went from a family of four to a family of five.
• My husband got the biggest promotion of all to now running his own (well, with two partners) restaurant. This is as monumental as the point above.
• This Christmas marks the longest time off happy pills in the last four years.
• Oscar is talking a lot more and making more attempts at more sounds. Now to just get them into speech.
• Felix has finished his first full year of big school relatively intact, and with a best friend who has no siblings at all. I see them commiserating over their family structures already. "you get your own room," "yeah, but you have someone to play with all the time" and so on.
• I joined a gym and have discovered I really REALLY like boxing.
• I think I carry a lot of anger. Or maybe it's frustration.
• I finished the first year of my Masters in Professional Writing, majoring in creative writing. It's the first time I've studied anything and not felt like it was a drag.
• We are almost debt free. All that's left is the car and Amex bill. I don't think you realise just how massive this is. It means, by the middle of 2006 we can seriously start thinking about saving money for a house...which will probably be an investment unit in Toongabbie, but you get my drift.
• I killed about 9 fish. Many of those in the space of one week after over zealous fish tank cleaning and introducing new fish to a cohort that had been perfectly happy on their own thank you very much.
• I've gone from loving my cat to almost pure hatred. It's slowly dissipating back to begrudging acceptance as Jasper gets older. I find this really freaky.
• We went camping and loved it. I can't wait to go again, but somehow know that getting away in 2006 is going to be the biggest pipedream of all.
• I started this blog with Bec and would feel bereft without it.
• Now I need to find a balance between here and reading books, rather than other people's blogs.

Oh, and Jasper slept through the night again. Unconditional love is a myth. The more nights this child sleeps through, the more I love him.

Today, he did the biggest poo that leaked up to his armpits and required a bath. He thought this was pretty cool. I found him, lying in a splat of his own faeces, merrily sucking his thumb and moaning in delight. He is so his father's son.

The best thing about hearing Mr Whippy coming and the boys knowing it's not a question of can we? but a question of what sort will I have today? is who will get the rest of Oscar's after he's eaten about half of it.

Rufus Wainright is an amazing singer, as is Madeleine Peyroux. They, along with Bernard Fanning are going to be the markers of our summer of 2005/2006.

I'm about to make my fourth dozen of fruit mince tarts. It's about 29C. I'm really really tired. I am actually done with baking for the moment. It takes a lot for me to reach such a point.