Sunday, April 23, 2006


I confess to feeling like a cranky old buzzard who just wants to stamp around the house muttering 'motherfucker', 'shithole', 'cunt', 'bastard', and any other swear word I can dream up, any slam a few doors while I'm at it. For no other reason than being a tired cranky old buzzard. ***** I confess to having an overwhelming urge to have a cigarette and get absolutely off-my-trolley drunk. Preferably on martinis, but a Cosmopolitan would be equally good, or even some Piper Heidsiech champagne. ***** I confess to being a strict old-fashioned parent of late, pulling the boys up on the slightest of behaviour glitches. ***** Xbox I confess that to mark a very big moment for Felix, we bought him Star Wars Lego for the Xbox. I HATE the Xbox. The Xbox brings out the worst of the cranky old buzzard. And that I then had an epiphany. I hate the boys playing Xbox (it is a very very rare event until the arrival of Star Wars Lego). I am one of those people who thinks Xbox, Play Station etc are major contributors to the downfall of civilisation. I hate the parent it makes me. Then I realised - who is the adult around here? So I sat the boys down, said I didn't like computer or video games, and that while they may play them on Daddy's watch, there will be no Xbox on Mummy's. They just shrugged, went "OK", and got a few books for us to sit on the lounge and read together. Then I read to them in bed and watched as their eyes got heavier and heavier and finally closed. And didn't feel like swearing quite so much. ***** Idiot I confess to being a COMPLETE IDIOT for not organising to take tomorrow off and have another 4-day weekend (for those of you overseas, Tuesday is a public holiday here for ANZAC day). ***** Amalah I love her writing and until yesterday felt a connection with her in the whole - oh my god - working and baby = hard. Then she went and fucking resigned. And is so friggin' talented, well-connected, popular - that she is going it alone and will - without a doubt - be hugely successful and subsequently rich. This has pissed me off. I know I have no place to be pissed off. At all. But I freelanced and basically sucked at it. Because I am, at my very core, inherently lazy. So when it came to pitching for new business or selling myself to prospective clients, I would sooner have gone to mother's group with the boys, eaten too many pieces of a crappy walnut custard loaf from Bakers Delight and left to be home in time to watch Dr Phil and Oprah. So I ended up working on shitty projects or good projects for bully-bosses and being very very very poor. Which was a very large contributor to my fast slide to madness. So really, what I'm confessing, is to being really very lazy and wanting the life of celebrity. ***** Inexplicable desire to be violent For some bizarre reason, I have a real urge to hit something. Not someone. But to do something hard and punishing - like a boxing class or something, where I can just pummel the shit out of something, sweat a lot and maybe scream a bit. ***** Insert swearing here ***** And Bec - who said you could go away for a few days??? Just because you work like a packhorse doesn't mean you then get to go frolic in the meadow for a few days. ***** I'm tired, and going to bed. And yes, I can hear you all thanking the Lord for such small mercies.


Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Make the scary lady go to bed...

4/23/2006 11:19:00 pm  
Blogger My float said...

I'm really impressed with the way you handled the xbox bit, it really seemed to work.

The freelancing number is a crock. I get paid so little for doing quite a lot of work that in fact, I'm sure that if I checked my records, I'd find that I'm actually paying them.

I'm with you on all your cranky buzzard stuff. I'll have a drink for you!

4/24/2006 06:53:00 pm  
Anonymous sueeeus said...

I'd have a drink for you too, but I don't really like it, so maybe I'll have some chocoloate instead. I'm with you on that Amalah thing. She'll be a major success, I'm sure, and that's very annoying! Well, annoying, but I'm also happy for her. About the urge towards violence - we have these horrible arcade places here with shoot-em-up games and such, and while I would never in a million years go to one of these places, my office had a function there once, and I learned it was very therapeutic to hold a machine gun and shoot my ex-fiance to smithereens. He didn't want to play along. I'm guessing he knew it wasn't just a game for me.

4/25/2006 09:35:00 am  
Anonymous Angie said...

We don't do xbox or any of the other ones either. I am thankful every day that the geek I married is not a gamer. If he was I would not have married him. :-s

4/26/2006 09:46:00 pm  

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