Glamorouse

Friday, September 02, 2005

As dictated to the Sisters of Mercy hovering by my bed

The nice thing about nuns these days is that they are so versatile. Even while they're carrying out such a medieval task as a bedside vigil, they can still take on a dying request like posting a blog entry to a slightly off-colour website like ours. Mind you, ever since the Pope declared Australia to be godless we've noticed these nuns drifting around the streets of Marrickville offering all sorts of services and I'm starting to think maybe there's something in it for them. Has he put a bounty on soul conversions? Is there a Heavenly Rewards Points program where the nun with the most souls gets tickets to the opening of the Catholic World Youth Day in 2008? I'd hate to impugn their motives, but the old fat one sorting my underwear over in the corner is looking shiftier by the minute and there is a certain amount of jostling to be closest to be bed each time I start hacking my lungs up in a coughing fit. Enough of the nuns. I've had an epiphany. Our Rousing Routine needs a makeover. To save you flicking around this link, the routine in brief was: Monday: dirty laundry Tuesday: nude news Wednesday: weddings Thursday: library Friday: buried bones Saturday: sports scandal Sunday: philosophosopising... It seems to me that we've made a reasonable fist of weddings and nude news, had a crack or two at library, philosophised very rarely and shown an entirely predictable lack of interest in sport (except for Shane, who only counts for nudity and marriage). Now this is not the epiphany. It seems also, to me, that as we're about to be the tired cranky and retail-deprived mothers of six, rather than 5.5, kids, we need tocut our routine a little slack, turn our thoughts a little more to the home front and remember that other great part of our lives (here comes the epiphany) FOOD. How could we have left FOOD out of the list? Half our posts (and I'm thinking here especially of you punishing your mother by depriving her of dessert) focus on FOOD and more than half our lives is devoted to the consideration, pursuit, preparation and consumption of FOOD. I mean, where are the recipes? Where is the cookbook lust? What about the fact that I've had almost a week at liberty to do nothing but watch the Lifestyle Channel? We need to refine, we need to revamp, and we need to re-focus on the three things that really matter to us: Food, Sex, and bitching about celebrities. Gotta go. One of the nuns just found the Professor's porn. mtc bec

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